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Aint got a clue
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Aint got a clue

Stuff People Send me

Santa Be hittin the Schnapps


> > Dear Santa
> > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy alL
> > yeer.YerFrend,
> > BiLLy
> > Dear Billy,
> > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
> send
> > you a
> > f *** ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older
>
> > brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
> and
> > joy in the world for everybody!
> > Love,Sarah
> > Dear Sarah,
> > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa
> > Dear Santa,
> > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
> mommy
> > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> > Love, Teddy
> > Dear Teddy,
> > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
> hurricane.
> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom,
> who
> > rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get
> you
> > some nice Legos instead. Santa
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
>
> > kit, a pony and a tuba.
> > Love,Francis
> > Dear Francis,
> > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
> your
> > reindeer outside the back door.
> > Love, Susan
> > Dear Susan,
> > Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
> riding
> > in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
> Santa
> >
> > Dear Santa,
> > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
> > PLEASE, could I have one?
> > Timmy
> > Timmy,
> > That whiney begging sh ** may work with your folks, but that crap
> doesn't
> work
> > with me. You're getting a sweater, again. Santa