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Many of us have seen at least advertisements for this Japanese animation (if you have not, you must have been incarcerated, in a comma or on crack). Innocent looking is it not? But is this really a harmless children's show or a horrific mind controlling device being used on our nations children.
One of the major themes of Pokemon is the containment of elemental and physical forces in the forms of cute little creatures with sub-human, super animal intelligence. Basically they are beasts with the powers of gods. Today we have statistics and chaos to predict random events, do we really need this modern mythology? Anyhow this franchise is really a cover for a sinister polytheistic religion bent on dominating children's minds. What a parent see as a harmless toy is really seen by the children as religious icon that they worship. No longer are their ritualistic sacrifices of crops/animals or humans, instead seek sacrifice of cash in the name of the cult. Children see the pokemon as gifts from the gods to the pokemon masters for loyal devotions to the various gods like Thor (Pikachu), Neptune (Squirtle) and others as well as spirits like the sirens (JigglyPuff). These kids will literally pray to, cry over, kill and die for these creatures.
Another problem is the concept of the portraying the concept of the "power of one". What is the idea of the of putting that shit in a child's mind. Telling a child they can get ahead by trusting in their own abilities will lead them to loss and a world of pain. Some examples, Joan of Arc got burned alive, Harry Houdini was punched in the stomach and his appendix burst, and Martin Luther King Jr. was shot. What will these children do when they make a stupid decision get in real trouble and their precious Pocket Monsters will not come to their aid?
I believe that if this ritualistic worship of these creatures thrive much longer that a neo dark age which will lead to a knew age of ignorant and stupid people, not unlike the last age, or the one before it or the one before that. Will this madness ever stop? I can only hope that they will all kill each other off before they come after me.

You might be teenie bopper if...

Today there is a plague upon our society infecting young minds and making them act gay and seem anoying to the rest of us. This disease is Teenie Bopper syndrom. I am making this colum so teens and preteens so they might find out if they have been infected and seek profesional help. Here a list of symptoms.
1: You preach anti drug sermons to people you meet even when they are not doing drugs.
2: You brag about the anti drug commercials you or a friend have been in.
3: You belive bouncing up and down is moshing.
4: There our 4 drugs you do, vitamins, minerals, caffine, and Ecstacy.
5: You have a condom in your pocket and have a 0 percent chance at getting laid.
6: You own anything or everything by Britney Spears, Back Street Boys, 98 degrees, NSync, or Hanson.
7: You have ever uttered, "I'd love to but Dawson's Creek is on".
8: You think Ricky Martin is hard rock.

If you have any of the above symptoms I recomend you seek the profesional help you need. Try talking to the guy dressed in black, listen to some death metal, and remember Jack Daniels is always there for you.

HDoFU's handy guide of Uses of High School Freshmen

Today many of the Upperclassmen are stuck with a dilemma, what to do with a freshmen? Accept them as you would any other person, try to indoctrinate them into your societies or groups, take time out from your own schedule to show them the ropes? Nah... I think all of us agree they should be abused and misused so that is what Im here to help you with.

Helpful ideas

1) Pack horse - Is your back getting heavy? Need something to carry all your books? Get a freshmen to
do it for you. They are cheaper then burros (work under threat of being beat). They are allowed on
campus. They dont require housing (unless they are homeless, avoid those).

2) Free Vending Machines - Forgot your lunch and dont have the cash to dish out on buying over priced
cafe food. Take a freshmens, if it doesnt have what you want, then beat them up and move onto
another freshmen and repeat the cycle until you get the desired lunch.

3) Checking locker capacity - Have you ever been curious to find out just how much you locker is capable
of holding? Just cram a freshman or 2 or more in to determine just how much it can hold. Can also be
used on trash cans, recycling bins, janitorial closets

4) Ritualistic Sacrifice - Have you recently joined PETA, but still wish to participate in some of the darker
occult rituals? Dont go against your liberal friends or pagan gods, use a freshman, they are plentiful
and expendable. Can be used for worship rituals or if you are the victim of a man beast and need
something to appease it.

5) Easy Scapegoat - Being human ensures that at some point you will mess up but sometimes there just is
not anyone who looks as guilty as you do. So make up an excuse using a freshman as the cause of the
problem , who will they believe, you or the freshman?

6) Entertainment - Sometimes school life can be very boring with homework and research projects. A
roll of duct tape, a freshmen, a couple of pissed off jocks and a flag pole equals hour of entertainment.

7) Punching bag - Suffering after doing bad on a test? Someone bash into the side of your car? Or are you
just pissed off and need something to hit. Freshmen are the answer, since they are capable of surviving
large amounts wounds inflicted to there small bodies.

8) PH Tester - Have a substance that you want to determine whether it is strong or not? Use a freshman,
you can determine whether or not an acid or base is strong or not by how much of the tongue is left.

9) Mop - Have you made a mess while eating in the cafe and need to clean it up. You know where I am
going with this. Their hair can be used to mop up the spill but make sure you pick one with a lot of hair
and that is not to heavy to hold upside down while wet.

This article is sponsored by CCA (Chiropractic Cooperations America)

Assumptions about God and Dominoes

Looking at humanity it is pretty obvious that God likes dominoes. First of all he creates a universe arranged in perfect order, then he creates a being like man (a being lacking instinct, with the ability to adapt to a given environment). Mankind should not be the problem it is, but there is no niche for it so it takes an available niche and fills it in and wipes out the order that exists there which in turn wipe out other niches connected with it and that pattern repeats indefinitely and then man moves on to a new niche and starts again. Animals all have niches and they spend their live fulfilling them. But this is all altered by mans presence. Lets take this scenario for instance, Billy the squirrel is under a tree, a man is nearby and sees an apple in the tree throws a rock it breaks the branch and it fall, Billy says, Raw aw which roughly translates to Oh Fuck, this is going to hurt. These leaves Billy is left a paraplegic as his is crushed. So Buddy the vulture shows up to eat the carcasses, and another man with a cigarette comes over and beats Buddy to death with a large branch and while doing this drops his lit cigarette and forgets about it when he leaves and the Forrest goes up in smoke. I believe God likes dominoes because this happens frequently.

Guidelines for Slogic

Introduction
Throughout the history of mankind, he has used such tools as common sense, probability and statistic and superstition to determine his path of action. But many sensed there was something beyond that of logic. Some smart dude, Lorenz, discovered a new type of science called chaos, but that still was fairly logical. But soon a new genius would emerge to take and make this reality a past . Born October 12, 1982, James S Miller came forth to reveal a new system of developing ideas out of bizzare and irregular thoughts and making them seem logical. This concept is known as Slogic.

Basic Rules of Slogic

1) It must be bizarre:
Slogic requires a person to take an aberrant idea and make it appear to make at least a little sense. It really doesnt though and if they think about it long enough, they will realize it makes no sense and if they particularly unlucky, they will have a stroke.

2) It must appear to be relevant though it should not actually :
Say someone starts talking about Europe. It would not be considered ilslogical to talk about how you could conquer Europe using a matchbox, a comb, and a battery. Richard Dean Anderson and Mr. T are both good examples of Slogical characters.

3) It must make a simple concept seem more complicated then it really is:
Many college professors use slogic every day and are not even aware they are doing it. Slogic makes an idea or objects seem complex. To illustrate, here is a little example; a textbook is filled with pages, pages have sentences, each page has words, each word has letters, each letter has a symbol and a pronounceable sound, the sounds are made by releasing air at various speeds through the mouth as it take different shapes... The same would be used to break down the numbers and pictures that appear in the textbook.

4) Leave ideas hang:
Start on an idea, get halfway through it, accidentally get distracted, and leave it hanging. If questioned about it pretend to forget it.

5) Create a theme and run with it until it stops being funny, then drop it until it humor value returns:
One day something is funny, the next day it is stupid and annoying and shut the fuck up fill in blank, but occasionally an event occurs that regenerates the themes lost humor.

The Duke Sea Scrolls

Introduction
Long ago (about 30 minutes from the time posted) there were various documents deposited at the yellow sea (a kiddy pull near Dukes home) by our savior (from boredom) the mighty Duke. Many might remember him as an enlightened (slightly) and powerful teacher (of perversion) whose teachings were comparable up to those of Ghandi or Muhammad (if youre drunk). Many of these documents would be lost forever had he not (do to persecution by Peters, Father John, Mike Goldsmith, Astroatlas, and his computer). Here I will place the Fragments that were extracted by very technical means (a fish net) and translated from ancient Dukelewskian via means of very sophisticated means (a bottle of whiskey). Comming soon...

The Lost Senior Skit Script of the Class of 2001

Intro:People arrive
Danahue:Hi welcome to the party!
Majasheick: Hey Pat, how the party going?
Danahue: Well were watching TV and I just got my digital cable installed, but GodSpell doesn't come on until 9.
Majasheick: Well it looks like their is something on ABC.

Act I: Who want to be a Millionare
Forkman: Womp, I mean welcome to Who Wants to be A millionaire, I'm Regis Forkman, last week we had someone come all the way to the million dollar question and run out of time, so were putting him back up in the hot seat. Please give a warm welcome for Mr Don Sailor.
Sailor: This has always been a dream of mind.
Forkman: Good I hope you pull it off. Final question, are you ready, womp?
Sailor: Yes.
Forkman: Good, Final question. Who in the GIJOE series, was in charge of the army o Cobra, A.Archie, B.King Pen, C.Cobra Comander, or D.Punky Brewster.
Sailor: C.Cobra Comander
Forkman: Is that your final swang?
Sailor: What?
Forkman: You know, swang its bigger then a jagger but not quite an answerum.
Sailor: Yes, I guess.
Forkman: Ohh... I'm sorry the answer is not C.Cobra Comander
but C.Cobra Comander.
Sailor: But thats what I said.
Forkman: No, No Sailor you said C.Cobra Comander but the awnser is C.Cobra Comander...

In between Acts:
Danahue: Ooh... I feel sorry for Sailor, but Regis is the final word on the answer to the questions.
Majasheick: Yeah. You know we ought to test out the digital cable and check out the Learning Channel.

ActII Mr Civ's World of Science
Civ: Ih here with me today we have as my assistant this eh small boy named Motsa.
Motsa: That is Mr Motsa, I'm in my mid 40s.
Civ: Ih eh must drink a good bit of coffee to be that short. Well anyway on with the experiment. Hey asshole hand me that testube filled with Na somtin or other and beeker filled with Ba shit or something.
Motsa: The names motsa and are you sure you should mix those they will cause a viol...
Civ: ...I know what I am doing. Now I combine the two
KABOOM!

In between Acts:
Majasheick: Looks like that show has had some funding cuts.
(Doorbell rings)
Who is that.
Danahue: That must be Father J, he is bringing the drinks.
(J enters)
J: I have got the wine.
Majasheick: Awsome... (looks in bag) this is Welches grape juice.
J: Opps... looks like I brought the communion wine by mistake.
Danahue: Lets just get back to the TV, it looks like there is a marathon of something on USA.

Act III: Danahue Warrior Princess
Danahue: Now I must go and face the horrific lych with the help of my trusty sidekick Jane.
Jane: It has been a pleasure working with you since my husband left.
Showl: Hah, neither of you have what it takes to beat me Danahue.
(Donahue stabs sword into Showl, nothing happens) ha hah, I can't be beaten by you.
Jane: Damnit Pat, nothing is working.
Donahue: No worries I know how to handle this monster. (Pulls out term paper and tosses it into a chasm)
Showl: NO! Must grade paper, give it a failing grade!
(Jumps into Chasm)

In between Acts:
Majasheick: Still getting paid royalties for that Pat?
Danahue: Shut the fuck up or get out!
J: (grabs remote) My favorite show on on TNT.

Act IV Job Counsiler Corner
Brandle: This is your last chance Hardy, don't blow it because all my Job counsiler are effeicent and hard worling and I love each and everyone of them.
Spotster: I got it. (Lodell enters) Hello what is you name?
Lodell: D. Rob Lodell
Spotster: What is your first name?
Lodell: Can't tell you.
Spotster Why not?
Lodell: (Looking at the cup on the table) What's that in that cup?
Spotster: NOTHING! I mean it's coffee.
Lodell: Smells pretty strong.
Spotster: Tell me about your interests.
Lodell: Ohw doggies, well I use to be into wrestling...
Sposter: Well it seems to me you are a pussy incapable of doing any normal tasks of life and should just give up otr be more fuller, rounder...
Brandle: Thats it your fired.

In between Acts:
J: Why did you turn the sound down?
(Phone ringing)
Danahue: I have a call (picks up phone) it is Chuck, he says Tuyseday is now a school day.
J: Man is he a faggot, I hope he gets caught stealing tuition money to fund his purchase of Cuban boy slaves.
Danahue: Lets get back to the show.
J: Damnit, its a comercial.

Act V: Special Comercial
BK: Hello, I am Big Brother Keavan here with a special anouncement, Many children can barely afford to survive in some countries and need financial help from us. It remionds me of the story of an apple... (Chuck chases a small boy across the stage) ... the apple tasted good and I spent the equvalent of 3 american dollars on it. Many of you do not realize just how much you can do for them. It reminds me of the story of an elephant... (Chuck grabs Kid runs off stage) and that is how the elphant saved the tribe much like you can help save these kids from disease and starvation. (chuck comes out with bloody knife and roll of duct tape).
How did I do Andy
BA: Oh... very good.

In between Acts:
Danahue: I hate that commercial.
Majasheick: Lets watch fox, it has a reality show on now.
Danahue: Ok.

Act VI: CHC Task Force
Macaroon: Today we are going undercover to find out what students and faculty members do weed and root them out of the school. (Johnny D walks by) Hi John, do you know anyone who does weed?
JD: Yeah, I heard Mike Goldboy does.
(Task force locates Goldboy Locker and Goldboy, ransacks locker)
MG: Whats the deal?
Macacroon: You are being removed. Now pick up the contents of your locker and get out! (Goldboy runs away) Freeze Civ!, (cut to scene with Macacroon smoking joint) Put the camera down now quit taping, quit taping.

In between Act:
Danahue: That was different.
Majasheick: Wasn't that a special from CHC TV.
Danahue: No, your thinking of Mr Tiny's "gays OK assembly" it featured clips from an episode but not that paticular episode. Let just watch the Discovery Channel.

Act VII: Drugs and Ammo
Farch: Hi welcome to my show I discuss todays issues on Drugs and ammo, but I feel that everyone should have a little background on the metric system let me go get my charts. (gos to a door, struggles with knob, stagehand comes and opens it for him) here we go. Now lets say you have 1000 miligrams of cocaine, that means you have 1 gram of cocaine. Say you have 2 grams of cocaine and your friend gets a shipment in of 2 grams and sells it to you, that gives you 8 grams of cocaine.
Guy in audiance: Isn't 4 grams.
Farch: Isn't that what I said because thats what I meant to say. (bear growls)
Another guy: Excuse me, why do you have a bear up there on a chain?
Farch: Uh... its a bear.
Same guy: but why.
Farch: Why don't you just leave the bear alone and pay attention to my show. Now you need weapons to gaurd your stash. I recomend a bigger gun because the longer the barrel the faster it comes out. (stage hand comes out) Well, it looks like I have got to be going. (Farch is chassed of stage, Please standby card placed in front of camera)

Finale: Danahue's place
Majasheick: Well I have got to go thanks to that ass wipe Chuck.
J: Me too.
Danahue: This has been the worsed New Year's Eve party ever.

Finale: Chuck place

(Chuck examines the Senior Skit Script)
Chuck: I won't let this script see the light of day, quite a bit like the small boys I keep in the basement. Hah ha Hah...

I Hate that Damn Bunny!

Ah Easter. A time of celebrating the fertility goddess who takes on the form of a giant egg laying rabbit. Good Christians should be home celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus. But they are all to busy taking their kids to see a fucking asshole in a shitty rabbit costume. This afternoon I made the mistake of going to my local mall to discover one of these huge cult gatherings. It was horrible. There were two "high priests" with the goddess who was getting the children involved with the ritual with chants and praise to the bunny. One of these priests was a stiff balding white guy with a ponytail and a trimmed beard. The other was a black girl priestess who was obviously doing shrooms because no one is naturally as happy as she was. I was disturbed by all of this. How could something this stupid attract people. It like that stupid new commercial where this racist black guy pays for half the supplies another black guy (big shocker) offers to pay for half the non tobacco groceries for him. Why does this shit attract kids? There are so many better things they could be doing like sneaking into R rated films or watching professional wrestling. Both are more beneficial to the Childs development then bunny worship. I feel Christmas, Easter, and Halloween should have a year where all the fun aspects are removed to see if the children really like these holidays without the literal candy coatings. But people are stupid sheep, really stupid sheep.

The trouble with Pop Bands

So you turn on the radio, half expecting to here some dumb fuck selling used cars, half expecting tohere dead air as a result of your crack smoking disc jockey smoking up and not coming back to fix the problem he caused to the radio transmiter. This is what you expect, but what you here is far worse then any of this. What you here is a fagot from ssome gay band like Back Street Boys or Hanson singing in voices that only fags can. You get sick, vomit and turn ythe stat0ion to clasic rock or metal and hope to never experience this again. It is my hope someday to get all of this shit removed from the air. The thought of this crap corupting small children today is scarry like Micheal Jackson starting his own charity organization for kids. If kids spend prolonged periods listening to this, they may become gay and do stuff like sing 3 octaves higher then they should or complain about missing Dawsons Creek 12 hours before it comes on. My advice, KEEP KIDS AND ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!

The Party Fairy Tale

hdofu: Trey, You there
Zipman311: ya
hdofu: Ok, now I reveal the Sunday Morning Story
hdofu: I'll do it in children's story form
Zipman311: lol
hdofu: Once there was a crazy underage Drunk, he went to aa magical kingdom called a frat house
Zipman311: the 'aa' is a nice touch, it adds to the atmosphere
Zipman311: you should save this conversation after you are done
Zipman311: I can tell it's gonna be good
hdofu: There were many inhabitants all together giving praise to the substance called Alcohol
hdofu: Everyone was happy
hdofu: Then a horrible beast came
hdofu: He went place to place eating the inhabitants and excreting them in places called Jail Cells
hdofu: This beast was the police car, it was rode by Sir Gaywen. of the Party Busters
hdofu: He went to a kingdom neerby and devoured all the inhabitants, so the people of the poor drunks kingdom froze in terror
hdofu: Eventually the beast had ots fill and left
Zipman311: which site do you update now?
hdofu: The Kingdom rejoiced
hdofu: The tripod site
hdofu: Back to the story
hdofu: Well the kingdom rejoiced a might to loud
hdofu: and Sir Gaywen became aware
hdofu: and he returned,
hdofu: Well the beast had had its fill, so it did not feed upoin this kingdom
hdofu: but Sir Gaywen went to the lords of this kingdom and demanded they hand over the treasures of this kingdom for making to much noise.
hdofu: Alas, the kingdom lost money on this carnival
hdofu: And now is cutting its budeget on Nectar of the gods
hdofu: The End
Zipman311: That's not a very happy fucking ending
hdofu: No it is not
hdofu: But fact offten is not
Zipman311: True, the origional grimms tales were pretty brutal
hdofu: Yep
Zipman311: They were not children's stories
hdofu: No they were not
hdofu: Not like fuckin motheer goose

What Goes on in Aim when not out drinking

hdofu: Off and on, off and on....
Druid1227: what does that mean
hdofu: Aim trouble?
Druid1227: mr hope diamond
Druid1227: yeppers
Druid1227: so why do you ask
hdofu: Oh, just checking, it;s late, I get wierd on satrudays when I stay home
Druid1227: I see... does this have anything to do with distilled barley
hdofu: mmmmm...
hdofu: nope
hdofu: :-P
Druid1227: odd so you act like this normally
hdofu: yes
Druid1227: you arn't by chance suposed medicated are you
hdofu: Uh...
hdofu: Medicine bad
Druid1227: I see and do you ware wet sheets
hdofu: No, I where a cape
hdofu: wear
Druid1227: oh well you should consider some wet sheets, they do wonders for the mind
hdofu: Any paticular liquid?, water, whiskey, tequilla, brandy, balsamic vinegar?
Druid1227: water is best, takes longer to dry
hdofu: ah good
Druid1227: that means you can move for longer, which means the world is a safer place
hdofu: Oh, it will never be safe
Druid1227: from you it will
Druid1227: untill the sheets dry
hdofu: As long as I reside in Dave's body, the world will never be safe
Druid1227: reside do you.. in Daves body eh... and who are you exactly
hdofu: I am a chaos demon
Druid1227: by the name of zoinkserovextorgarium
hdofu: So you heard of me
Druid1227: your reputation precedes you
Druid1227: i am the rather small and insignificant imp named olgrachynevnitzgerma
hdofu: Well work hard and someday you too can become well known, my advice, possess someone like Elton John, vogaslyasma did that and look at him now
Druid1227: ah but there are other less fortunate souls who have fallen under the influence of chocolate and are irreperably un evil Snickolanaras or Santa Clause for example...
hdofu: yes tis sad
Druid1227: Stay hot... dont eat choc
hdofu: mm hmh...
Druid1227: and whatever you do dont talk to bunitusethesteras, he is the bigist chocolate dealer on this side of the netherworld
hdofu: Oh, I know him, he got my brother hooked
Druid1227: DAMN that easter bunny
hdofu: Yess, indeed
Druid1227: So how did you come to poses dave
hdofu: Well he was real down one day and vunerable, good christian kid, I saw an opening and now I had tis body for 8 years.
Druid1227: lucky you, I am stuck in the body of a aged jainitor by the name of kebob, he parapalegic satanist with only one eye and half a nose
hdofu: Yea, but at least your body has immunity to most common chemicals
hdofu: Mines just ugly
Druid1227: only because I sniff em to much
Druid1227: you keep od hours dave

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from hdofu: I am off to cleanse my soul of hdofu
-Dave
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hdofu: Ha, dave failed, I'm still in con.... where am I?
Druid1227: DAVE IS FREE. hdofu has failed my god, we need a more powerful demon quick
hdofu: Whats going on?
Druid1227: *jumps into Dave but is throughn out after ten seconds*dear lord
Druid1227: WHAT ARE WE GONNA DOOO.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hdofu: Dude.... my head hurts:-P
Druid1227: ah advil helps that
Druid1227: and a lot of advil will help alliviate life as well
hdofu: *breifly hdofu* man he got me for now, but I'll be back, wait and...*back to dave*
hdofu: Weird, I better get some Advil
Druid1227: ok dave *hands dave some advil laced with will weakening drungs and some downers*
hdofu: *grabs the drug but drops them on the groundm a fly lands on it*
Druid1227: *quickly burns fly with stare* here have another
hdofu: *takes it this time, sudenly hdofu returns* I'm back!!!
Druid1227: good that was close
Druid1227: you have 4 hours to get this boy depressed again
hdofu: Yes, dave can't be left in charge, hes too much of a goody two shoes
Druid1227: yeppers, he might eat *gasps* chocolate
hdofu: yike, then his body turns all red, and shutter to think about, yikes....=-O
Druid1227: my god there is a snickers in your pocet
hdofu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
hdofu: I must now regain control
Druid1227: drop the snickers.. mind over chocolate
Druid1227: you are the master
hdofu: Through means of comunicating directly to the pscyie
Druid1227: (I am a trained CA (chocolate anonomous) consolatant)
hdofu: *drops the candy bar*
hdofu: Time to recharge my vessle
hdofu: Ta ta fellow demon
Druid1227: is it bye bye bye then

Potential names of Metal groups

Vigilantee 101, Squirrle bomb, Acid Sponge, Nasty Taco, Atomic Rooster, Sarry Goat, Metal Voice, Unethical Statistics, Volital Varibles, Pizza Factory, Oxyggen Loss, Wrong Bus Stop, Fuck Off, Alternate Frequency, Living in Cells, Crushing Cops, , Seizure Sound, Toasted Wood, Bubble Barrage, The Hampster Dance Tribute Band, Red Eye, Project X, Canible Sound, Inflated Currency, Synthetic Sound, Red stained Roadkill, Goat Pi, Inflatable Penguins, Without Bond, Summer School, MSNT3KO, Unos Dos Tres, Oh Foo, Feed the Iguana, Spoon Spit, Hash Pit, Fale Safe, Maniacal Milkmen, Fear's Poster Child, Animated Meat, Savage Candy, Big Cat Massacre, Pinnatta of Death, Loud Lizzards of Thunder, Underlings of the Beast, Sounds inside the Can Opener, Toad Food, Disturbed Direction, Demonic Infancy, Pounding Puppies, 911 Night, Satan's URL, Trashcompactor sounds, Enragged Bacon, Killer Pillows, Nickle Face, and Vodka Burn are all good names for metal bands that don't exsist (to the best of my knowledge.

Monte Carlo SS = Guzzling GaSS, Hauling ASS

CHEVELLE502 [7:53 PM]: i hate aol
hdofu [7:53 PM]: Yeah
CHEVELLE502 [7:54 PM]: and school, and work, all i wanna do is work on my car
but no i gotta go to school wtf i dont wanna go to school
CHEVELLE502 [7:54 PM]: never did never will
hdofu [7:54 PM]: I want to drink, but I gotta write papers
hdofu [7:55 PM]: and papers just don't turn out when I do that
CHEVELLE502 [7:55 PM]: hell id like to sit back with a cold one too but no i
cant i gotta do homework, or i gotta do a project, or i gotta be awake when the
meteor shower happens
hdofu [7:56 PM]: I was drunk during the last metor shower
CHEVELLE502 [7:56 PM]: i dont give a fuck bout no metors i wanna get drunk and
party all night long, then sober a little and work on my car, its alot easier
under the influence of alcohol
hdofu [7:57 PM]: Yeah
CHEVELLE502 [7:58 PM]: i work a hell of alot better that way
hdofu [7:58 PM]: Good system
CHEVELLE502 [8:00 PM]: your telling me i can change atiming chain and cover in
an hour while im under it should take like 2 and a half
CHEVELLE502 [8:00 PM]: if im not
hdofu [8:00 PM]: cool
CHEVELLE502 [8:02 PM]: fucking asshole congress passing a law that says you
gotta be 21 to drink i say fuck that and fuck the congres we dont need them
telling us what to do
hdofu [8:02 PM]: It's Elzabeth Dole's fault
CHEVELLE502 [8:02 PM]: all this country is is a commie democracy
hdofu [8:03 PM]: Yeah, I still hate that bitch though
CHEVELLE502 [8:03 PM]: the people dont choose the president the states do, who
controls the states, the congress, how the hell is this a democracy?
hdofu [8:04 PM]: It isn't
CHEVELLE502 [8:05 PM]: thats what ive been trying to tell you but butt-breath
there aint no freaking french fries so get outta my face before i shove your
teeth so far down your throat youll have to sit on a jack burger to eat it...and
oh yeah have a nice day
CHEVELLE502 [8:05 PM]: wow i feel much better after that
CHEVELLE502 [8:06 PM]: stunned?
hdofu [8:06 PM]: Not really
CHEVELLE502 [8:07 PM]: hehe
CHEVELLE502 [8:07 PM]: why not
hdofu [8:07 PM]: I was sort of ecpecting this outburst a month or two ago
CHEVELLE502 [8:08 PM]: haha
CHEVELLE502 [8:08 PM]: all this cause i wanna drink legaly
hdofu [8:08 PM]: Yep
hdofu [8:09 PM]: I would like not having to worry about the cops as well
CHEVELLE502 [8:09 PM]: wouldnt it be nice
CHEVELLE502 [8:09 PM]: ahh i can see it now
hdofu [8:09 PM]: Yes it would
CHEVELLE502 [8:10 PM]: drunks sober up cause were drinking it all, less car
crashes cause were passed out and cant drive
CHEVELLE502 [8:10 PM]: the country would be a better place
hdofu [8:10 PM]: A utopia
CHEVELLE502 [8:10 PM]: yeah
CHEVELLE502 [8:10 PM]: i could live with that
CHEVELLE502 [8:11 PM]: going to work would be alot easir cause you could look
forward to going home and getting drunk
CHEVELLE502 [8:11 PM]: passing out and going to work the next day
CHEVELLE502 [8:12 PM]: i feel a lot lighter now that i have vented
hdofu [8:12 PM]: good good
CHEVELLE502 [8:13 PM]: i think we all need to vent a little, but you need it
alot
hdofu [8:13 PM]: Yes, I do
hdofu [8:13 PM]: I'll probably scream for a week when I get home
CHEVELLE502 [8:13 PM]: why is that
hdofu [8:13 PM]: Letting out anger
hdofu [8:14 PM]: and negative energy
CHEVELLE502 [8:14 PM]: ahh yes take a bat and beat up a traffic cone i find it
works very well
CHEVELLE502 [8:14 PM]: ill lend you one i have two for those big days
CHEVELLE502 [8:14 PM]: it also gets to be funny after a while
hdofu [8:15 PM]: I'll have to take you up on that
CHEVELLE502 [8:15 PM]: sure thing im ready
CHEVELLE502 [8:16 PM]: plus the best part is where the neighbors get mad and
call the cops, they cant do anything but ask you to stop and then you dont have
to cause it aint wrong
CHEVELLE502 [8:16 PM]: oh yeah cops SUCK!!!!!
hdofu [8:16 PM]: Yeah
CHEVELLE502 [8:17 PM]: think there all bad hiding behing a shield, real men
dont need a shield
CHEVELLE502 [8:17 PM]: budwieser and a pistol ill take anybody out
hdofu [8:17 PM]: ha hah...
ELLE502 [8:18 PM]: dont need no specail uniform or badge shit i dont even need
a gun once im not feelin anything im maen as hellfuck a gun god gave me two
mallots
ELLE502 [8:19 PM]: oh sorry there i go again ranting...my bad
ELLE502 [8:19 PM]: oh shit ive got mail
hdofu [8:19 PM]: better check it
ELLE502 [8:19 PM]: i did nothing good
hdofu [8:20 PM]: it might be a spamming lune
02 [8:20 PM]: ahh anthrax e-mail ahhhhh
C502 [8:20 PM]: i think im dying....oh thats powder from my jelly donught
sorry[]
CELLE502 [8:21 PM]: why the hell am i so funny??
hdofu [8:22 PM]: I don't know, guess the same reason I' so freaky
CELLE502 [8:22 PM]: hmm never thought of it that way
C502 [8:23 PM]: ahh shit i gotta leave a dump ill be back in a miin
hdofu [8:23 PM]: right
CHLLE502 [8:27 PM]: ahh got rid of some george w now i feel much better
hdofu [8:28 PM]: That good
CE502 [8:28 PM]: best bread stick-sesame seed
ELLE502 [8:29 PM]: best beer-any thats got alcohol
CHELLE502 [8:30 PM]: the kind of pussy you can get when piss drunk-fat bitch
pussy
hdofu [8:30 PM]: Yeah
CLE502 [8:31 PM]: cases of beer-$200
CLE502 [8:31 PM]: bags of ice $100
CHE502 [8:31 PM]: watching your friend fuck a lampshade that he thinks is his
girlfriend-priceless
CE502 [8:31 PM]: or
CE502 [8:32 PM]: videotaping your friend dance with that lamp hes been talking
to allnight-priceless
CHLLE502 [8:32 PM]: hahaha i crack my self up
hdofu [8:33 PM]: Funny
CHE502 [8:33 PM]: imthinking college tour
CLLE502 [8:38 PM]: man i gotta write some of this shit down
hdofu [8:38 PM]: yeah, or save the aim trnscript
CELLE502 [8:38 PM]: good idea